I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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