Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
