but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
