but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
