he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Randomize
