I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
