She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
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