White coat. Heels.
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
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