You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
