We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
