ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
