I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
