im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
