Me. At least after what I've been through.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
