Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
