Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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