I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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