that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize