Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize