wat bout pragnant strippers??
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
