You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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