people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
