Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
