But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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