Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
