I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
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