Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I will pee on everything he values.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
