Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
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