Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize