Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
