Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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