Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
