There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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