I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
