I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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