she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
