i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I've blown a few things in my day
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
