I wanna bring you to show and tell
Don't make out with my wife yet
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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