He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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