It's Friday. Sex?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
