Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
