Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Randomize
