I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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