I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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