the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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