can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
