I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
