oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
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