I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
