May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
