I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
