I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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