Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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