take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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