I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
