Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
