it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
