Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
