I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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