There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
