He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Welp...herpes.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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